Did you know that the future of your children is influenced by the way you treat your partner? Yes, yes, the love between you and your spouse/husband will affect the future of your children. Find out why your children's future is in the hands of love. 

Is there scientific evidence that your children's future is in the hands of love? 

Yes, and the University of Michigan's Marital Quality of Parents and Children's Transition to Adulthood study has proven it. This study was carried out in Nepalese families and, although other sociological factors influence the results, it has been shown that these are universal facts that influence families in both Western and Eastern cultures. 

Thus, studies show that the children of families who respond that they feel love for their partners are children who in their intellectual future tend to prolong their education and stay in the educational system because their parents have shown concern for this educational facet of their children. They also prolong their married life. In other words, they are children who take their time and thoughtfulness in establishing a relationship. 

Researchers spent 12 years following the life process of these now adult children to find that children with parents who loved each other developed both of these tendencies! 

This is related to the fact that when we do not receive love at home or from ourselves, we quickly look for external factors to fill those gaps. 

On the other hand, it is worth mentioning that our parents have been the most important foundation of our childhood. And although the education system, our friends and work influence our being, parents are the pillar for our adults today. That is why the behaviour of a married couple will also influence their child's marriage, as they will establish and look for similar behaviours, norms and qualities in their partners. At best, they will also choose to avoid at all costs the harmful behaviours they have experienced during their childhood.

What qualities does a child learn from his or her parents' marriage?

Your children are your best imitators, so the pattern of behavior you have at home and in your marriage will have a great impact on their lives.  Your children's happiness and success is based on a good relationship with their parents.

Therefore, some of the most important qualities they learn from you include:

BE DECISIVE AND RESOLUTIVE IN THEIR LIVE PROBLEMS:

If your children see you arguing in front of them about a topic such as: throwing out the rubbish, choosing a restaurant or putting a price on a toy, topics that belong to their understanding and their childhood life. It is not bad. They can watch you and your partner communicate each other's opinions, and resolve a problem or confrontation between you as long as you both do it with love and respect and without shouting or blaming each other. Remember, it's not about avoiding arguing in front of your children, it's about teaching them how to resolve a misunderstanding. So don't avoid talking to your partner about certain things, but do it with grace and love.

BE GRATEFUL AND APPRECIATE THE LITTLE THINGS:

We say thank you at work, we say thank you to a friend. But how often do we thank our partner? Don't settle for being neutral with your partner. Remember that staying by your side is not their obligation, but a choice. What I mean by this is that we don't have to take our partner for granted, we have to thank them for the things they do for us and for our family. Your children will have the same behavior.

TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FROM A PERSPECTIVE OF CHOICE AND TAKING CARE OF EACH OTHER CONSCIOUSLY (NOT OUT OF OBLIGATION)

Our children must know that we have responsibilities, so that they learn to take them too. But there are ways to convey this message to them, and by that I mean that we can convey to them the knowledge that in our home things are done in a certain way consciously and not unconsciously or because we have learned it that way by inertia and stereotypes.

An example:

• Today your mother/father will cook a delicious lasagna for us, and you have to go to the supermarket to buy all the ingredients and take the necessary time for cooking. Today we have decided so because your mother wants you to enjoy her delicious dish. Another day it will be up to dad / mom to learn.

• Today your father is responsible for reading your story to you, so mom won't be able to because she's very tired and has had a day full of responsibilities at work. Dad has also worked a lot, but he will gladly do it because you deserve it, and he wants to see you happy. Mom will read you a story another time. OK?

YOUR ROUTINE, A SHOW OF AFFECTION AND FUN:

Routine in a marriage is dangerous, as your marriage can become boring and end in the blink of an eye. That is why it is important to show affection to your partner in front of your children, and show them that you enjoy each other. Of course, we are their parents, and we must maintain basic standards for their education! But being responsible and aware is not an opposition to being fun. Having fun as a couple, laughing together, and joking is important. It is important that our children know that we choose a partner consciously, with projects and vision of life in common, and with like-minded personalities to achieve the success of our marriage. Letting them know that we enjoy being with their mother/father is essential for them to do the same in their future

In conclusion, the way you show love to your partner, the way you talk to each other, the way you care for each other and consciously decide to resolve your differences with love, affects your children not only in the present, but in their intellectual and emotional future more than you think. Knowing this, what kind of marriage do you choose to have?

If you are currently having problems with your partner/ or in your marriage remember that you are not alone, and that with THE THRIVING FAMILIES PROGRAMME you can have the family you have always dreamed of.  



Thank you for reading!

-Dr. Waad Masoud.